Back in the day Bad Bill Shakespeare (sounds like a linebacker, doesn’t it?) got it right about roses. But he didn’t get it universal. Some things by another name just stink. Take ballparks for example. I hate “naming rights.”
Gimme good old names. Names of teams like Dodger Stadium, Yankee Stadium. Names of owners or prominent people like Wrigley Field, Hubert Humphrey Metrodome, or Ebbets Field. Names of areas like Camden Yards, Fenway Park, or West Side Grounds. I’ll even take simple things like The Ballpark at Arlington. But naming rights? Gag a maggot.
Tell me you really like to hear about the great game at Cellular One Field, or Enron (without reference to Enron’s later problems)? Wouldn’t you, rather, like to hear about the great game at Yankee Stadium? Quallcom? What the heck is a Quall and what does it have to do with baseball? Busch Stadium? Damned right, Busch Stadium. The family owned the team. Somehow in this case a little hubris is better than Southwestern Bell Park or Northeastern Wagestunter Field.
Come on, guys, I know you make a lot of money but get rid of the dopey names. Give us real baseball names like Comiskey Park or Forbes Field, or even Three Rivers Stadium. I have visions, and they are apocalyptic, of Fly By Night Financial Field in Brooklyn replacing Ebbets Field. Now Abe Stark Tailor’s Field, I’ll give ya that one.
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